What is Love?

We all know what Love is ... or do we? Ask a child and he/she will say it is an enfolding embrace and kiss of a parent, the lick of a pet or when you do nice things for each other without looking for anything in return. The unspoiled viewpoint of a child is what we all need to remember when we think of Love. Theirs is an unconditional love, like that of Spirit (God). It is without judgment, forgiving of all hurts put upon us as well as accepting without prejudice.

Have you ever felt an attraction to a small child or baby animal? Been pulled by their innocence, purity, charm, and vulnerability; that warm fuzzy feeling that you just want to hug close to you, snuggle up with, bury your head into; the feeling that comes over you to protect them from all harm and if necessary to give up your life for them? That is unconditional love.

Unconditional love is what we need to give to ourselves as well as to those around us. Picture yourself as a baby who needs a lot of TLC. How would you treat that child? Just because we age in years does not mean we do not want/need/desire the same kind of love we had as a child.  In fact, we spend our whole lives looking for that kind of love, but we are always looking in the wrong places. It should come from within before we can ever find it without. If it is not within, then we will never understand or find it elsewhere. We need to accept ourselves, all parts, good/bad, weak/strong, black/white/grays, and love all that we are. Once we can accept all our virtues and flaws then we can accept and appreciate/tolerate them in others.

We all bleed, we all hurt, we all have fears, and we all have problems. We all have gone through tough times. If we could truly put ourselves into someone else’s place for just a moment, then we could  feel and understand the pain we cause them, the love we give or the contempt we shower on them. What we do not like about others is often that which is what we do not like within ourselves.

We have the strength and wisdom to change that which we do not want within us, but we should still accept ourselves the way we are, blemishes and all. It is the imperfections, the chinks in our armor, and the scars we bear that define who we are. Every battle we have fought has made us who we are at this very moment, and all that is to come will continue to shape us. We may not have control over much in our lives, but we can control how we react to situations and what choices we make.

We are the ones who have to take control and responsibility for our thoughts, choices and actions. We are the only ones who can truly, and wholly, love ourselves. No one can know us as well as we know ourselves nor can others provide for our needs/wants/desires in the same way we can take care of ourselves.

Forgiveness starts within and grows without. Allowing ourselves to let go of our hurt, anger, and jealousy, begins the healing process of our Soul and helps us to achieve our best selves, as well as our dreams. This is not saying we should just cast aside all that has come before. Caution is still warranted, trust must be rebuilt or if you cannot trust again, you must bless the lesson learned and move on. Don't let a bad experience fester for it will bring disease and discord to your Soul. Listen to your heart, your Soul and Spirit, for you are never alone. You are surrounded by Love even if you can't see or physically feel it. Close your eyes, sit quietly and let Spirit into your heart and mind, let peace and warmth strengthen you upon your journey.

Once we can love ourselves, we find we can love many people. We can accept them as they are, without trying to change them. We do not have to be around those that are not of our energy or level. We can choose to be with someone special, as well as our lifestyle and our friends, for friends are the family we create for ourselves. Best friends make the best partners in life, for marriage is truly about two people helping each other through life and learning to love each other unconditionally, without expectations and with respect for their individuality.

To learn more about giving and receiving unconditional love, I recommend reading the book: "Real Love" by Greg Baer, M.D.